Warning: This article is capable of changing your life; you can stop reading now if you don’t want any change to your life circumstances.
Quite often we are faced with avoidable crisis and a tragedy because someone failed to act on time in a crisis which they ought to walk away from. A long time ago I engaged in a counselling session with a mister of the gospel whom I had the privilege to discuss a situation that was brought to him about a domestic violence of detestable nature. The condition had become life threatening but the partner suffering the abuse was “enduring and long-suffering”. (She was mindful of what people were going to say”, she was considerate of “keeping the bond of unity”, while the other partner was “enjoying the oppression and the terror he was unleashing on her”).
Recently I was confronted with a similar situation. The sufferer was suffering horrible humiliation and staying put. The reasons were “love”; it was “I can bear living alone” and “what will people say?” she was trying to be the “Christian”, yet both of the partners worship in the same church.
In most cases the victims don’t fight back either because their tormentors were stronger, richer, holds a particular advantage over them, are forbidden by religion or culture to act or are their bosses at work. The result is that many who feared loneliness now sleep alone in lonely graves; others have scars so visible that people can’t miss it. There are a lot of cosmetic applied to cover marks left on people’s face. It could be both way – men hitting women or women hitting men.
Many years ago I was told of a man who asks his wife to remove all her close, positioned her on a table and lashed with a cane her on her buttocks. I was told of another woman who was hit until she fainted and was spared when a Christian sister came visiting. I had opportunity to stand up against a brother who was justifying what he called “holy slaps”. What he meant was it that was okay for men to slap their wives. It is wrong and unrighteous. It is brutality and obscenity.
The demons that work violence are not sympathetic and no person should mess about with them. How can anyone explain the horrible bloodletting around the world? Cain killed Abel but was quick to complain about his punishment. Pharaoh Egypt killed new born babies at birth, humiliating their mothers in misery and pain.
The following scripture tells of the humiliation of Samson despite the fact that he had opportunities to walk away from trouble. (Please read it patiently)
“Now Samson went to Gaza and saw a harlot there, and went in to her. 2 When the Gazites were told, “Samson has come here!” they surrounded the place and lay in wait for him all night at the gate of the city. They were quiet all night, saying, “In the morning, when it is daylight, we will kill him.” 3 And Samson lay low till midnight; then he arose at midnight, took hold of the doors of the gate of the city and the two gateposts, pulled them up, bar and all, put them on his shoulders, and carried them to the top of the hill that faces Hebron.
4 Afterward it happened that he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. 5 And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, “Entice him, and find out where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.”
6 So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies, and with what you may be bound to afflict you.”
7 And Samson said to her, “If they bind me with seven fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, then I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”
8 So the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, and she bound him with them. 9 Now men were lying in wait, staying with her in the room. And she said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he broke the bowstrings as a strand of yarn breaks when it touches fire. So the secret of his strength was not known.
10 Then Delilah said to Samson, “Look, you have mocked me and told me lies. Now, please tell me what you may be bound with.”
11 So he said to her, “If they bind me securely with new ropes that have never been used, then I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”
12 Therefore Delilah took new ropes and bound him with them, and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” And men were lying in wait, staying in the room. But he broke them off his arms like a thread.
13 Delilah said to Samson, “Until now you have mocked me and told me lies. Tell me what you may be bound with.”
And he said to her, “If you weave the seven locks of my head into the web of the loom”—
14 So she wove it tightly with the batten of the loom, and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he awoke from his sleep, and pulled out the batten and the web from the loom.
15 Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and have not told me where your great strength lies.” 16 And it came to pass, when she pestered him daily with her words and pressed him, so that his soul was vexed to death, 17 that he told her all his heart, and said to her, “No razor has ever come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I am shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”
18 When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, “Come up once more, for he has told me all his heart.” So the lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hand. 19 Then she lulled him to sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him. 20 And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” So he awoke from his sleep, and said, “I will go out as before, at other times, and shake myself free!” But he did not know that the LORD had departed from him.
21 Then the Philistines took him and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza. They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison.” Judges 16:1-21(NKJV)
You must not allow yourself the pain of violence, humiliation and abuse; at least, you can walk away in the face of abuse, persistent hitting, and domestic violence. Jesus walked away from the mob the wanted to throw down from a cliff. Luke 4:28-30, says “So all those in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, and rose up and thrust Him out of the city; and they led Him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw Him down over the cliff. Then passing through the midst of them, He went His way.” (NKJV)
He also walked away from people who wanted to kill him before his time “After these things Jesus walked in Galilee; for He did not want to walk in Judea, because the Jews sought to kill Him.” John 7:1 (NKJV).
“Then, from that day on, they plotted to put Him to death. Therefore Jesus no longer walked openly among the Jews, but went from there into the country near the wilderness, to a city called Ephraim, and there remained with His disciples.” John 11:53-54 (NKJV)
David did not wait for Saul to kill him. He did not wait for Saul to do all he pleased and “let God judge him in the end”, as some want people to do. When he sensed that his life was in great danger he fled from Saul.
Psalm 115:17 says “The dead do not praise the LORD, nor any who go down into silence.”
The Lord told me some time ago “you don’t need to fight a battle that you can’t celebrate even if you win”. I know I could give the people concerned a good fight but I walked away. (Please I am not talking about physical combat). You certainly might have what it takes to fight in some instances but it is not sometimes worth it.
Subscribe to a tenet that frowns against domestic violence. Stand against bullying and set your mind against using religion, culture or employment to promote abuse, harassment and cruelty. Don’t bother about what anyone says against you for your stand. You have a right to live for what you believe.
I believe in the Almighty God through Jesus Christ; I am filled with the Holy Spirit and called of God. My beliefs are not rascal and my stand on this issue is not malicious except to those who enjoy cruelty, oppression and hurting other people.
– The best way to handle domestic abuse or bully of any type is to speak out.
– There are valuable support that you can access. Search online.
– Don’t keep quiet bullies don’t understand that, in fact they enjoy watching you cry.
– Report an abuse and violence. Don’t wait until they maim you before you act. There is help for you.
– Abuse can be physical, verbal or Psychological. Many people are struggling with image and confidence in one form or another, why allow someone to damage you in this way. Walk away from it.
– In Britain bullying is illegal, don’t tolerate it. Find out what obtains where you live. No society should tolerate domestic violence and bullying.
The friends and relations you give optimum sentiment to as reasons for prolonged abuse are not in your position and don’t understand what you are going through. The sympathy they desire is phantasm; a delusion that has no returns on investment; jettison it. At least you can walk away.
Scripture Quotes: http://www.biblegateway.com